- The Legender
- Posts
- Getting Smart About Smartphones
When we talk to parents about the decline in confidence over the last decade, many people ask: “It’s the phones, right? It’s social media?”
The short answer is yes (and if you need proof, scroll down). Recent research shows a negative relationship between kids’ smartphone and social media use and their wellness.
The long answer is more complicated than that: It’s not the mere presence of a smartphone. The quality of the content and amount of time spent online matters most. (Just like TV, 30 minutes of Sesame Street is good for kids; 5 hours of The Sopranos is not.)
And the question “what now?” is even more complicated! We can’t build kids’ confidence by eliminating all risk from their lives. Our goal is to help them build the skills they need to use the tools the world lives by in a healthy way.
But for kids who are still forming self-control, it’s tough to set their own boundaries, especially with devices and apps that are designed to maximize engagement. They need our help, but the fact that every kid is different means no hard and fast rules apply.
💡 We know parents are looking for resources, so we’ve got some! In this newsletter:
👉 Dr. Brian Burkhard, our Director of Research & Evaluation, shares the cold, hard facts on smartphones and confidence
👉 Dean Sue shares her take from seeing her students’ phone habits evolve over 40+ years at Duke, and share the one thing she thinks parents should keep in mind
👉 And I’ve got practical advice for how you can work out boundaries around social media with your kid - without it turning into a power struggle.
If you have any questions about how to navigate issues of phones + social media in ways that help your kids build confidence, join our active online community of parents and experts. Just reply to this email to request an invite!
Warmly,
Fish Stark
Head of Program & Curriculum
Legends
📉 Confidence Crash
Confidence in kids has taken a big hit during the era of social media.
The leading theory for these declines comes from Jonathan Haidt and Jean Twenge. Their point of view is well-summarized in this NYT Opinion piece. They highlight the strong negative effect that social media can have (particularly on girls), and noted that 2012 was the tipping point for when a majority of Americans owned a smartphone.
They also note that the years leading up to 2012 included the invention of the 'like' button and the 'retweet', as well as social media platforms optimizing for user engagement by targeting emotional arousal). Haidt and Twenge also found that rates of loneliness among kids started to increase in 2012, coinciding with spikes in symptoms of depression and anxiety, which all aligns with our own findings on declining confidence from above.
🏡
Need help building confidence at home?
If you have a kid(s) age 7-11 and want to try our new app, you can use code LEGENDER to join for free!
🔗 Legendary Links
The absolute best name for your inner critic
(shared by Legends user Cassandra Freeman)5 Skills Resilient Kids Have
(shared by Legends Insider Tamara F)A tool for helping kids with ADHD manage tasks
(recommended by Legends Insider Toni S)Adam Grant on the essential character skills to teach kids
(shared by Legends Insider Kristen C)A great tip for how to end screen time without your kid getting upset
Performance Psychologist discusses the impact of heart rate on mental health
NYT followed three teenage girls and their smartphones over the course of the year
📢
Join Legends Insiders
Legends Insiders is our thriving community of parents and experts. If you want to join, reply to this email and request an invite.
🤯 Boundaries Without Meltdowns
Every parent I’ve met wants to establish boundaries around screen time and social media.
But I’ve heard from so many families that conversations around boundaries turn into drawn-out power struggles, complete with shouting and sulking. No one enjoys these, and often they lead to parents imposing rules that are either looser or more restrictive than they mean to, out of a desire to just end the conversation already.
Here’s my playbook for approaching these conversations:
Start by acknowledging their feelings about screen time and social media.
Then, describe your concerns.
Come up with a list of solutions and write everything down.
Go through the list and determine your plan.
🍸 Are Smartphones the New Alcohol?
As an observer and veteran educator, I can tell you my experience: the dependence on a smartphone by teens (and adults alike) has moved towards addictive behavior. Many of us can’t resist looking at our phones!
As a parent, what should you do? Should you prohibit the use of a phone and/or monitor screen time? I’m skeptical of outright bans. Banning alcohol in the 1920s didn’t work and the effectiveness of raising the drinking age to 21 continues to be debated. Sometimes “forbidden fruit” becomes even more desirable.
I hope you’ll focus on one thing you can control…
READ ON 👉
Reply