Office Hours: Turning Off Our Inner Critic

The human voice, especially the speaking one, is very powerful. Maybe that’s why I have always enjoyed listening to the radio. Most days, as I’m driving to campus to teach, I find myself turning on the radio to listen to a favorite program on NPR or music on an oldies station. Occasionally, I’m not really enjoying what I’m hearing so I just turn it off. Done!

The radio voice might be gone but now there’s one other voice I’m left with: my “inner voice,” a voice that I sometimes struggle with–and a voice that I can’t simply turn off. This voice is the one that can plant negative thoughts in the brain. When this voice becomes my “inner critic,” it’s fair to say that it is not my friend.

I teach a freshman seminar at Duke University that encourages students to find themselves, their voice and their community. Part of the class is to learn a variety of ways to meditate– to be mindful. As we review these meditative practices in class and focus on our breath, the one thing that they all have in common is the need to recognize the challenges in staying focused on our breath and to acknowledge when our minds wander. I suggest to the students that, during their meditations, they do their best to recognize their random thoughts and let them go, without judgment and with great compassion.

Might this same strategy work with our inner critic? As soon as we hear this negative voice, the one that tells us we aren’t good or good enough, why don’t we very quickly invite it to move on – to move out of our brain? In fact, how about just saying out loud, “I’m turning you off.” And, just like the radio, the voice is gone.

My inner critic regularly tells me that my writing is not very good–that it’s not worth reading. In fact, it’s telling me that right now about this article. So, I’m going to acknowledge it, let it go, “turn it off,” and focus on the present while expressing some self-compassion. After all these years of practicing and teaching this, it’s still hard for me. But I think I’m getting better at enabling my positive inner voice to prevail!

What about you? Which voice will you allow to carry the day?