Hi there,

Our Legends team has spent four years learning everything parents need to know about confidence and, well, we love to share. Whether you’re a parent, educator, or caregiver, our refreshed newsletter will help you raise resilient kids who can stand on their own two feet and lift up everyone around them.

Here’s what you can expect each week:

• 🏆 ONE STORY—an inspiring story about a legend with confidence challenges

• 💪 ONE SOLUTION—a quick confidence tip to try with your kid

• 🧠 ONE STUDY—a summary of the key confidence research to know

Plus, links to what our team’s reading, watching, and listening to.  This week’s newsletter is all about identifying negative self-talk and learning to fight back.

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Taylor Swift's Confidence Era

Before she had ten million fans breaking decibel levels at her Eras Tour, Taylor Swift had something else filling her ears: other people’s opinions.

Critics said she couldn’t sing. That she didn’t write her own songs. That she would never be a star. 

And those voices didn’t just stay outside the studio—they began echoing inside her own head. Because that’s what our inner critics do: turn up the volume on every self-doubt we’ve ever had.

But Taylor didn’t let her negative self-talk take center stage. When she was only 20, she penned every song on her third album just to prove that she could. Her third album became a life-changing record, winning Grammys and setting her up for a career that quite literally shook the Earth and the GDP.

Name That Inner Critic

Turn your child's negative self-talk into a character they can easily dismiss. The next time your kid says, “I can’t,” or “I’m not good enough,” ask them to:

• Recognize it: Take a moment pause and notice the voice

• Rename it: Then, tell them to brainstorm a new name for that inner critic—the more nonsensical the better.

• Replace it: The next time that voice shows up again, remind them to say,  “Oh, that’s just [Blabbing Bob] yapping again… I’m not listening to him.”

Why Self-Distancing Works

According to Dr. Kristin Neff, a pioneer in the science of self-compassion, the first step to interrupting negative self-talk is recognizing it as just that—a thought, not a truth. She explains that self-compassion has three components: mindfulness (noticing the thought without judgment), common humanity (remembering you’re not alone), and self-kindness (responding gently to yourself).

Giving the inner critic a name is a mindfulness practice in disguise. It creates just enough distance from the thought to stop over-identifying with it, which Neff describes as a core obstacle to emotional resilience. When kids rename their inner critic, they externalize the voice and can begin to challenge it. Instead of “I’m terrible at this,” it becomes “That’s just ‘The Yapper’ talking again.” 

This renaming strategy builds the exact kind of self-awareness and emotional regulation that Neff and colleagues found to reduce anxiety and increase resilience.

Legendary Links

READING: This article about colleges teaching explicit lessons in communication and self-development.
WATCHING: Ethan Kross’s Ted Talk on harnessing your inner voice
LISTENING: Bon Iver’s new happy album (I know!)
TALKING: Our founder on what education should look like in the AI age.

@sonny.caberwal

We’re headed toward a world where AI both writes and grades student essays, and the only human left in the loop is the one prompting the b... See more

Stay legendary,

Marisa Polansky
Legends GM

P.S. Is your child struggling with a specific confidence challenge? Send me a note and we’ll feature solutions in an upcoming newsletter.