Expert Q&A: Bullying, Sibling Conflict & Comparison

Parenting is a hard job and no one gives you a guide.

But what if you had an expert in your pocket who could answer your most urgent and confounding parenting questions? 

Our goal is to make sure every parent has the tools they need to raise confident kids. For the last few weeks, we’ve been testing a WhatsApp group called Raising Legends, where parents can ask questions of our in-house experts (me, Dean Sue, and Dr. B) and receive practical, personalized feedback. 

We’re sharing a few of the parent questions we received along with our answers here, including:

• What do I do when my 8yo is jealous of the attention I give my 2yo?

• Another kid is repeatedly and specifically antagonizing mine. What do I do?

• My kid won’t stop comparing herself to others. How can I help her stop?

What do you think? Is this a group you’d like to join? Would you like to see more Q+As like this in our newsletter? Please reply (or email us: [email protected]) and let us know!

Warmly,
Fish Stark
Head of Program & Curriculum
Legends

🔗 Legendary Links

• Philosopher Alan Watts on what we get wrong about education (shared by Legends advisor and revolutionary school principal Andy Smallman)

• Anne-Marie Slaughter on the future of the care economy and the role of technology
  (shared by Legends CTO Sam Broe)

• How a college sports psychologist shaped Tom Brady’s performance mindset
  (shared by Legends Head of Content Marisa Polansky)

• Engineer and STEM educator Emily Calandrelli on why no one test defines you
  (shared by Legends Insider Tamara F)

• Legends Head of Program Fish Stark being very confident on FOX’s new game show Snake Oil

❎ Jettison Sibling Jealousy

"My two year old requires a lot of focused attention when outside or in public spaces since they are in the ‘stick everything in their mouth while running into the street to try to bear hug the face of a dog they don't know’ phase. And the eight year old is so sad and hurt about losing that attention that he often resorts to screaming "I hate him I wish he would die."

Obviously, no amount of reasoning or explaining can make it better. Taking turns or shifting attention also doesn't really work in these situations where even 5-10 seconds of "ignoring" the 2 year old can lead to real danger. So, what else could I do to help the 8 year old feel loved and not abandoned/hated."

Read on for our experts’ advice, including:

• Brian’s tips on to take a strengths-based approach to the situation and help your older kid feel proud of their independence rather than resentful of the attention the younger one gets

• Fish’s favorite book on sibling rivalry

• What to say when this situation happens again and how to avoid it through preparation beforehand

READ ON 👉

✋ Nip Bullying in the Bud

"Another kid at school is repeatedly and specifically antagonizing mine. Should I let my kid navigate this himself? How do I build his confidence in a way that can be helpful if this continues to bother him?”

Read on for our experts’ advice, including:

• Fish’s tips for how to coach a kid through responding to a bully

• When to let your kid try to work it out on their own, and when to step in 

READ ON 👉

👯 Curb Comparison

"My 10yo daughter can't stop comparing herself to other people. I know this isn't good for her but I'm at a loss for how to stop the constant comparing and I'm not sure what to say that won't elicit an eye-roll..."

Read on for our experts’ advice, including:

• Brian’s formula for explaining to kids why they shouldn’t compare (because there’s no such thing as “average”) and tips for reframing comparison.

• Three mantras that Sue suggests you share with your child to help them avoid comparison

READ ON 👉